Knocked Up
by Pricilla Grey
Summary: Aphrodite beamed, Xena fainted, and Gabrielle placed her head in her hands and sighed.


Gabrielle collapsed against Xena with a satisfied moan.

"Gods..." She whispered. "That was unbelievable."

Xena rolled onto her side and pushed a sweaty red-blond curl behind Gabrielle's ear, "Hmm, I was pretty good." Gabrielle giggled and Xena was amazed that even after all these seasons together, the sound could still made her heart skip a bit.

"You have many skills."

Xena smirked, "And you certainly let the gods know you appreciated them tonight!"

"Well, talents like that deserve to be praised." Gabrielle twisted herself so that she was straddling the warrior. "And I think it's my turn to remind you just how much I enjoy your...abilities."

Xena groaned, "Again, woman? If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to kill me."

Gabrielle placed a kiss on Xena's collarbone, "I doubt there is a better way to go..."

And no more words were said for the next candlemark, until:

"Hey, babies! Have 'ya missed me?"

Before Gabrielle had time to untangle herself from the form beneath her, she was (rather rudely) tossed to the side as Xena rolled over and threw her chakram at the unwelcome intruder.

"Woah!" Said Aphrodite, neatly side stepping the flying disk, and ducking as the rebound sliced through the air where she had previously been standing. "There's no need for that! I just wanted to congratulate my favourite Sapphic lovers!" A pout crossed the goddess's lips, a slight frown marring her perfect features.

Xena had little time for the gods in general, but not two moments earlier she'd been close- so excruciatingly close- to an orgasm, that whatever patience she might have possessed, had officially left the woods. "What do you want, Aphrodite?" She gritted her teeth and pulled on her shift, tossing one to Gabrielle as well, not wanting to expose her love's form anymore than it already had been.

"Well!" The goddess huffed, "No 'how are you'? I had hopped that Gabby here would have improved your manners by now, Xe!"

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and, ever the diplomat, decided to speak up before Xena attempted to kill a god with her bare hands (again)."We were kind of...in the middle of something, Aphrodite...but, how are you?"

"I'm like, so totally happy!"

"Great," Said Xena, "Can you leave now?"

Aphrodite smiled, and there was something about it that didn't sit well with Gabrielle, the glint in Aphrodite's eyes was almost...smug.

"Xe, Xe, Xe, Xe, Xe, don't you want to know, like, _why_ I'm happy?"

"It's Xena." She said stiffly. "And right now, I really don't care."

"She's always in _such _a bad mood," The goddess said to Gabrielle, "I really don't know how you put up with her!" Aphrodite giggled, "Well, actually I do, I am the goddess of love after all!"

"Yes." Said Xena, the ache between her legs seemed to only grow worse as this annoying conversation continued. "You are the great and beautiful goddess of love, we know, you've mentioned it before, _please_ go away!"

Aphrodite laughed, "Saying 'please' now, Xena? How _close_ were you?"

"Right, that is it!" Xena wrenched her arm back as if to throw her chakram again, but Aphrodite's pleas gave her pause.

"Wait! Wait! Just calm down, babe! Let me explain!" Aphrodite may have been immortal, but her dress certainly wasn't, and she didn't want to have change out of this particular gown for at least three more candlemarks, especially when she looked so darn sexy in it. The blond flipped her hair and sighed with happiness.

"Aphrodite," Said Gabrielle, slowly but surely loosing her, seemingly limitless, supply of patience. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Why nothing is wrong!" Xena growled and Aphrodite flinched. "You gals really don't listen, do you? I _told_ you, I'm like, totally here to congratulate you!"

"Congratulate us about _what_?"

The goddess smiled widely, "Why on the baby, of course, silly!"

Gabrielle's head snapped up, her eyes widening, "Wh-what baby?" She asked uncertainly.

It was Aphrodite's turn to roll her eyes, were all mortals this slow on the uptake? "Why yours, Gabby-baby, you're two moons along! Only seven more to go, aren't you both totally stoked?"

"What. Are. You. Talking. About?"

"Mpff!" Was Aphrodite's rather ineloquent response. (To be fair to the goddess, it's quite difficult to speak when six-foot of Warrior Princess is gripping your throat).

"Xena!" Gabrielle pulled Xena's hand away from Aphrodite's neck, "Let her speak."

Aphrodite coughed a few times, which confused Gabrielle, did goddess's need to cough? Or even breathe for that matter?

"You have _serious _anger issues, babe!" She narrowed her eyes, "Did you even, like, _hear_ what Cupid had to say?"

"Cupid? Aphrodite, we haven't seen Cupid in Summers!"

"Er, you haven't?"

"No!"

"Ooh! When I get my hands on that boy, I'm gonna-"

"We really could care less about your family squabbles, Aphrodite, tell us about the baby!"

"Now!" Added Xena, menacingly and unnecessarily.

"Oh. Huh. Right." And for the first time, Aphrodite looked a little worried. "Well, you see, babes, first of all, I was only trying to _help_- you know how much I love _you_, Gabby and, Xena, well, you do pull off that leather look really, _really_ well and-"

"Aphrodite!"

"Right, right. So, like, I was totally happy with myself, ya know? With you two being together an all, I mean, two soul mates finally- and I do mean finally, it took you long enough! Well, anyway, with you two together I could _feel _the love and it felt good, I mean _really_ good!" She winked. "So I was thinking to myself _how can I make this better? _And then it hit me! A baby! So I called in a favour with Persephone, you know she's good with all that fertility stuff and, here we are. Gabby's knocked up!"

"Stop." Said Gabrielle. "Let me try and understand this, you saw that Xena and I were happy so you decided to use your powers to, what, _inseminate me?_ Now I'm pregnant with some kind of _demi-god_?"

"No!" Said Aphrodite. "Of course not!"

"So who's the father?" Asked Xena, and Aphrodite was slightly concerned at how calm her voice was, with the Warrior Princess, this usually wasn't a good sign.

"You are!"

"Me?" (Huh, thought Aphrodite, I didn't know Xena could squeak).

"Yep!"

"I'm the father?"

"You are!"

"I'm the father." Xena said again, her voice still unnaturally high. "Of Gabrielle's baby."

"Uh-huh! Congratulations, baby-daddy!"

Aphrodite beamed, Xena fainted, and Gabrielle placed her head in her hands and sighed.


End file.
